stillbecoming.studio

The greatest enemy that tears us away from life with its cozy, seemingly safe, and undemanding embrace; the illusion that no other life is possible, forcing us all into submission: our “Comfort Zones.”

All my life, I’ve been known as a brave person by my family and friends. And it’s true—compared to many around me, I could be considered courageous. But was I always this way? Absolutely not.

For many years, I too was terrified of leaving the comfort zone I had built—or rather, the one we had built together. My greatest fear was losing that cloud-like, sweet-smelling world tucked under a soft blanket. I felt that if I stepped outside that circle, everything I had worked for, every drop of sweat and effort I’d invested over the years, would simply slip through my fingers. Oh, what a catastrophe that would be!

Yet, while I was deathly afraid of losing it, that very “comfort” wounded me and vanished. It didn’t kill me, but I emerged from the wreckage heavily bruised, to say the least.

At that point, I realized I needed to put in a massive effort to heal and build a new space. I began working with all my might—until I finally understood the sheer destruction that entering another comfort zone would cause me.

I didn’t want a new comfort zone anymore. To me, life was far grander and much more fun than any “safe space” could ever be.

We all have different beliefs about why we are here on this earth. What I believe might seem absurd to you, and vice versa. So, I won’t go down that road. However, if there are those among you who believe we came into this world merely to clock in from 9 to 5 just to “be comfortable” in retirement—well, you might get a little angry with me. Go ahead, be angry; that is your natural right. In fact, write to me. Let’s debate it.

We squander our most productive, most beautiful years just to ensure comfort in an uncertain old age. Of course, I’m not suggesting we should just wander aimlessly and forget the rest. But we have forgotten how to live while working. Our only concerns have become saving money, buying houses, buying cars, and securing our seniority. In exchange, we’ve said “yes” to the chains around our necks and the modern slavery imposed by a system built by others.

I said yes to it too. For many years, I was a member of that system. Then, my luck turned, and I experienced a total collapse. After a period of mourning and lamenting, I managed to see this downfall as a springboard. Life had granted me a chance to change—a chance to exit a system of “slavery” in which I was never truly happy.

Today, as a woman of 50+, I know I am judged by certain circles for my lifestyle, my choices, and my priorities. But these things don’t wound me as they used to. Because, frankly, I haven’t cared what “people” say or think for a long time.

I have dreams and goals. But now, I follow my own truth to reach them. I became “de-systematized” by natural causes, and it brings me nothing but joy.

I still have anxieties; I admit it. I am only human. But my awareness has evolved. When my fears and worries about the future surface—which usually happens around 4:00 in the morning—I’m hit with a wave of tightness and shortness of breath. Thoughts like “What will happen? How will I cope? I need to establish a ‘proper’ order for myself…” start to swarm. (Just a side note for context: I’m still living with my sister, who opened her home and heart to me :)). After a while, I catch these thoughts. I remember my choices, my dreams, and my goals. I remind myself that the road can be long, and then I drift back into a sweet sleep.

I accept that the path to where I want to go may be a bit longer and more rugged. But as the elders say: “It’s not the destination, it’s the journey.” 🙂

Therefore, when you finally face your fears, you must be prepared to risk being penniless and swimming in uncertain waters.

A while ago, I listened to a podcast by Professor Sinan Canan. According to him, life is like an amusement park, and there are two types of people. The first type comes to the park to have fun; the second type comes to be the security guard. He describes the latter like this: “They’ve come to the park, everything is glowing, there are magnificent rides, but they just sit in a corner and watch. Heaven forbid their clothes get dirty, or they get hurt, or they feel dizzy… When they reach the end of their lives, they leave ‘perfectly clean,’ having never stepped onto a single ride or experienced a single thing. Yet, we came here to play and get on those rides.”

Signed and sealed. 🙂

With love,

Nazan

About These Piece!

If These Piece had a Color : It would be ”Navy Blue”.

If These Piece had a Song : It would be ” Feeling Good, by Muse”. https://open.spotify.com/track/3U5JVgI2x4rDyHGObzJfNf?si=3689a865ab3a4ea1

If These Piece had a Scen : It would be ”Fresh Coffee”.