I’ve been trying to put these thoughts on paper for a while now. Writing, deleting, letting drafts sit in the dark… finally, today, they’ve seen the light of day.
The inspiration actually came from a conversation with a friend. I’m sure she’ll call me the moment she reads this, but as the saying goes: “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen”. 🙂
So, we were catching up the other day. She was talking about a relationship that ended years ago because she was cheated on. Then she said:
“Well honey, it was his loss.”
“Why?” I asked.
She looked at me, eyes wide with pure shock, and snapped: “Whaaat? Because he lost ME!”
I didn’t push the subject further. At that moment, I wasn’t clear-headed enough to explain my perspective, and she wasn’t in a place to reflect deeply on it. But later, I thought about it for a long time.
My take on this is quite different. I don’t believe I am anyone’s “loss,” nor do I believe anyone is mine. When the time comes, paths diverge, and a reason manifests. That’s it.
Perhaps saying “it’s their loss” when we’re hurting is just a defense mechanism. But this mechanism can blind us to the truth. In reality, when a story ends, no one wins or loses; the story simply ends. Pride (hubris) might be the massive wall we build around ourselves just to avoid taking responsibility for that ending.
Self-worth is, of course, vital; life requires us to respect our own uniqueness. But pride begins when we turn that uniqueness into a “medal of superiority.” The moment we say, “They lost me,” we position ourselves as the “prize” and the other person as the “loser” who wasn’t worthy of it. When you think about it deeply, it turns the entire shared history and every experience into trash. What a waste.
I see a similar pattern in the famous phrase: “My friends screwed me over.” I find this equally absurd. There is always a situation: either you had a fundamental disagreement with your friend, or the person you thought was a friend never really was. Every story has two sides. I tend to distance myself from those who constantly claim they were “cheated” by friends. Because this rhetoric usually becomes a mantra for those who over-importance themselves and refuse to look at their own reflection.
To me, both of these are significant indicators of pride.
In many beliefs, especially in Christianity, “Pride” is considered the first of the seven deadly sins. Its definition is clear: an inflated sense of self-superiority, narcissism, and excessive ego. It is seen as the master key that opens the door to all other sins. Regardless of my personal distance from organized religion, I wholeheartedly believe in the spiritual damage this kind of pride can cause.
Long story short; pride exists within all of us. We are human, after all. But isn’t life too short to keep a tally of who lost whom? Or to look from a pedestal and say, “Whoever loses me, loses in life”?
Every person we walk with for a while plays a role in who we evolve into today. And we play our part in their story. When the time comes, paths part. No one loses anyone, and no one’s value is greater than the other’s.
With love,
Nazan
If These Piece had a Color : It would be ”Yellow”.
If These Piece had a Song : It would be ”Star People – George Michael”. https://open.spotify.com/track/3U5JVgI2x4rDyHGObzJfNf?si=f9047821d23d42ac 
If These Piece had a Scent : It would be ”Poison by Christian Dior”
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