stillbecoming.studio

Hi, I’m Nazan! I’m 52 years old, and I am an Overthinker!

As I’ve mentioned before—but let me repeat for those who haven’t read my previous posts—I write primarily for myself. Whatever I write about reflects the topics that challenge me, make me happy, or make me feel stuck at that moment. And it makes me so incredibly happy and motivated to know that you are reading along.

Today’s topic is “Overthinking.” I’ll use the English term because I believe the Turkish equivalent doesn’t quite capture its full essence.

I am a “solid” Overthinker.

So, what is this thing we call Overthinking?

You could call it the most common mental noise of the modern age. While it’s often translated as “thinking too much,” that definition doesn’t fully describe the “excess” of it. Overthinking isn’t actually about solving a problem (even if that’s the intention); it’s about building a prison around a subject and then locking the door from the inside with the key in your own hand.

As I said, I’m an overthinker. So, what happens when I fall into this spiral? Let’s take any subject; it immediately takes the front row in my mind and gets dissected into pieces. That’s exactly when my “guest” appears at the door. No asking for permission or anything. It settles into my most comfortable armchair, sweet and silent. And in that moment, the whirlpool begins. Sleep vanishes, my menopause-related hot flashes intensify, and I find myself throwing open every window in the house. It feels like my heart is being squeezed and released by someone’s hand, and the breath I take can’t quite reach my lungs. It’s a terrible sense of discomfort. Because my mind keeps twisting and turning the subject. It looks at it from one side, then the other. Then it says, “No, no, that’s not it. Let’s look at it from a different perspective.”

If I’m struggling with a conversation I had with someone: “Did they mean it that way? They said this, but were they serious?” It’s a state of total madness. And even though we know it’s just a trick our mind is playing on us, we can’t seem to kick that guest out.

If there were an Overthinker competition, I would definitely be the champion :). Those who know me would certainly agree.

I decided to tackle this issue and started trying a few methods of my own.

The moment I realize I’ve fallen into this spiral, I no longer try to chase the thoughts away. I just observe them for a bit—where is my mind going, what is it producing? (Believe me, I can come up with some serious nonsense. The simplest topic can get stuck in a terrifying darkness.)

Based on what I’ve read, I’ve tried a few techniques. First is breath. But if I’m at my lowest point, it doesn’t work. My breath gets stuck in my chest, rushing to get out. Trying to change my thoughts? Two seconds later, I’m back in the same spot.

So, I started following this sequence: First: The very moment I realize I’ve fallen into that dark zone, I change my physical location. If I’m at home and can go out, I throw myself outside. Or I change rooms. If I’m sitting, I stand up. If I’m standing, I sit or lie down somewhere I feel comfortable. Then comes the breath. Deep diaphragmatic breaths. Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, and exhale for 8. Doing this 5-6 times is incredibly soothing. Next: I pour the subject that dragged me into that darkness onto paper. Exactly as it is, with total transparency. Sometimes, this is how I discover what’s truly bothering me or what led me into that dark place.

While this method generally works, as long as the external factor that is squeezing or suffocating me doesn’t change, I can fall back into the same spiral again and again.

So, I honestly confess to you that I still haven’t fully solved it. Perhaps I never will. But I will keep working on it 🙂

How do you deal with this?

Lova

Nazan

P.S:The visual belongs to me. A reflection of the uninvited guest in my mind on paper.

If These Piece had a Color : It would be midnight blue—the trace of my sleepless nights.

If These Piece had a Song : It would be ”Weightless from Marconi Union”. https://open.spotify.com/track/3U5JVgI2x4rDyHGObzJfNf?si=f9047821d23d42ac

If These Piece had a Scen : It would be ”Sandall Wood”