stillbecoming.studio

In early 2023, I developed a sudden obsession with learning Spanish. Why? Because I’m convinced that in one of my past lives, I was Spanish. And if I believe it, then it’s true. 🙂

There’s a 15-year gap between this conviction and actually picking up the language, but better late than never, right?

Like many language enthusiasts, Duolingo was my constant companion for two years. However, eventually, I decided it was time to get serious. To celebrate my 50th birthday, I saved up and gifted myself a two-week Spanish course in Madrid. Now, don’t ask, “What can you really learn in two weeks?” Of course, you can’t master a language in a fortnight, but this trip was never just about the grammar.

My plan was to go for my birthday in November 2024. However, life intervened—my dear partner needed emergency knee surgery, pushing the trip to April 2025. But I was determined. As the date approached, a realization hit me: despite traveling abroad dozens of times for my career, this was my first time traveling completely solo for leisure. To top it off, my destination was Madrid—a city that felt entirely foreign to me.

So, in April 2025, Madrid was waiting.

As the departure neared, my anxiety spiked. I had rented an apartment in a local neighborhood, in a building that didn’t typically host tourists. Having a kitchen was a must; my budget didn’t allow for dining out every single meal.

With my school booked, my apartment secured, and a modest budget in hand, I set off. This journey held a deeper weight, too. Beyond the language, it was to be a silent confirmation of my longing for freedom and my decision to get a divorce.

The moment I boarded the plane, I popped open my travel companions: two bottles of Bottega Prosecco. To me, travel means Prosecco, regardless of the hour! During those four hours in the air, I gave myself a pep talk. There would be none of the luxuries I was used to from my background in the tourism industry. No airport welcome, no comfortable private transfer, and no husband to carry my heavy suitcase. 🙂

Arriving in Madrid meant navigating a bus and two different metro lines. I had a massive suitcase in one hand and a backpack on my shoulders. Sweating through the old metro corridors that lacked escalators, I felt the weight of loneliness in my bones. When I finally reached the apartment, a sense of emptiness washed over me. I asked myself, “Is this really what I wanted?”

To find the answer, I headed straight to the streets. Luck was on my side—the weather was divine. Discovering that my school was a 58-minute walk from home thrilled me. I’m obsessed with walking, especially when there’s a European city waiting to be discovered!

I found the school, and after that, it was “freestyle.” All the flavors I had missed were waiting: Jamon, Padrón peppers, Manchego cheese, and of course, Cava (the Spanish Prosecco). That first night, I treated myself to a feast at a small tapas bar. Afterward, I did my grocery shopping. As I mentioned, I couldn’t eat out every meal, but that wasn’t a problem—I love cooking, and I have a genuine love affair with European supermarkets.

My two-week summary of Madrid is this: the people are radiant and helpful. Whether you speak English or broken Spanish, they go out of their way to understand you. You can sit at the best table in a cafe for hours reading a book, and no one gives you a “when are you leaving?” look. Instead, they keep the tapas coming. If you’ve had a bit too much to drink or you’re sitting alone, a waiter will check in on you just to make sure you’re okay before you head out.

Aside from their language, they seem to have no rush. It’s as if we are stuck in “survival mode,” while they are truly living.

I adored it. I fell in love.

In short, Madrid was exactly what I needed. I returned to Istanbul understanding what I love, what I yearn for, and what I truly need. Now, I live with the dream of one day calling Madrid home.

People say, “But it doesn’t have a sea.” My response? So what?

With love,

Nazan

P.S. I took a break from learning Spanish after Madrid. Let this post be a promise to myself: Start again!

About These Piece!

If These Piece had a Color : It would be ”Lime Green ”.

If These Piece had a Song : It would be .”Siempre me quedará” from Bebe. https://open.spotify.com/track/3U5JVgI2x4rDyHGObzJfNf?si=3689a865ab3a4ea1

If These Piece had a Scen : It would be ”Pink Prosecco”