When we’re young, getting old is probably the last thing on our minds. We feel as though we’ll stay young forever, and quite frankly, we live as if that’s exactly what’s going to happen. We treat our bodies as if they’re guaranteed to carry us through life with the same energy and freshness, no matter what we put them through.
Back then, the number of tequila shots we could survive in one night was directly proportional to how tough and “cool” we considered ourselves. The same went for the number of consecutive sleepless nights spent partying until sunrise.
At least, that’s how it was when I was young. I can still picture myself partying all night and showing up at work at 8 a.m. the next morning, as if nothing had happened. There was even a period when this became a regular routine, with a grand total of three hours of sleep per night.
These days, I’m not going to tell you what time I go to bed. I’d rather not become the subject of public ridicule. 🙂 Apparently, my body has decided it’s time to collect every single hour of sleep I so recklessly borrowed during those wild years.
In short, the more mileage we put on our bodies, the more they seem to lose control, racing downhill at full speed with no intention of hitting the brakes.
Before diving into today’s topic, let me make one thing clear: this is a humorous take on a rather serious subject. (Relax, nobody’s getting beaten up here. We’re just going to have a little fun!)
Let’s start with a quick scientific overview of menopause and andropause.
Menopause: In women, menopause occurs when ovarian function comes to an end, resulting in a significant decline in estrogen and progesterone levels. It marks the end of natural reproductive fertility and typically occurs between the ages of 45 and 55. Hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, and metabolic changes are among the physical symptoms that come with this transition.
Andropause (Male Menopause): In men, testosterone levels gradually decline, generally beginning in their late thirties, at an average rate of around 1% per year. Unlike menopause, this is neither sudden nor definitive, and men remain capable of reproduction. However, the decline may bring reduced muscle mass, lower energy levels, increased abdominal fat, difficulty concentrating, and a decrease in libido.
And that’s enough science for now. Let’s get back to real life!
In my humble opinion, menopause is a full-blown assault on women that starts somewhere in our forties. It comes at us from every direction, knocks us down, and then has the audacity to call itself a “natural transition.”
“Your hair will fall out. You’ll gain weight for no apparent reason. Your skin will lose its glow. You’ll sweat at the most inappropriate moments and feel freezing cold five minutes later. Your nerves will be shot, your patience will disappear, and your emotions will become a roller coaster. You’ll laugh one minute and cry the next. And sleepless nights? They’ll become your new best friends.”
And as women, we’re somehow expected to accept all of this with a polite smile, shrug our shoulders, and say, “Well, it’s just nature!”
Oh, please! Give me a break!
Now, let’s turn our attention to our adorable men. Of course, they’re going through their own challenges, too.
Enter the andropausal gentleman!
Suddenly, accepting the fact that he’s getting older is simply not an option. Instead, he starts dressing younger, perhaps with a pair of bright pink trousers, discovers a whole new collection of hobbies, and develops an almost obsessive passion for motorcycles. He proudly pairs his salt-and-pepper hair with a carefully coordinated grey beard and adds a generous collection of necklaces, bracelets, and enough rings to decorate every finger.
And there he is, walking around with an unmistakable attitude:
“I’m not getting old! I’m just getting older, and trust me, I’ve still got plenty of game left!”
As you can see, it almost feels as though women are once again carrying the heavier burden during this stage of life. Men may disagree, naturally, but I genuinely believe life puts women through a few extra tests along the way. Our physical endurance, pain thresholds, and ability to tolerate discomfort often seem to be tested far more extensively.
And there’s another interesting twist to menopause.
While we’re trying to figure out what on earth is happening to our bodies, we also embark on a rather unexpected journey inward. A full-scale identity investigation, if you will, questioning everything we thought we knew about ourselves.
“Who am I, really? What do I actually want from life? Were all the choices I’ve made so far truly mine? Enough already! This isn’t me anymore! I’m turning over a new leaf! Did I even genuinely enjoy the things I used to love? Have I perhaps taken motherhood a little too seriously? I’m done putting everyone else first. From now on, it’s ME first!”
And the list goes on and on. 🙂
Meanwhile, our dear men take a slightly different approach.
They hit the gym, determined to become fitter, stronger, and more muscular. They start paying closer attention to their diets, looking for ways to get rid of that stubborn belly fat (or at least find clever ways to disguise it). They spend a little more time in places where younger people hang out, perhaps enjoy a little eye candy, and generally make sure the world knows one very important thing:
“I’m not old! I’ve still got SO much life left in me!”
Their approach to this whole aging business seems to come with a generous serving of ego, a dash of vanity, and perhaps a little intoxication with their own sense of power.
So, to sum it all up: Women seem to mature, while men seem to regress into their second childhood.
While women are busy building their own thrones, men are out buying tickets to the amusement park.
What can I say? Life has a funny way of handing us both a second adolescence at this age.
One raises the flag of rebellion and starts questioning everything: “Who am I?”
The other turns up the volume on his motorcycle, faces the wind, and proudly screams: “I’m still here, baby!”
Whichever side we’re on, one thing is certain: growing older is no easy business. But being able to laugh at ourselves, embrace the absurdity of it all, and find humor in this wonderfully chaotic stage of life is absolutely priceless.
After all, if we can’t laugh at ourselves, who will?
With love,
Nazan
If These Piece had a Color : It would be ”Purple”.
If These Piece had a Song : It would be :”I’m Still Standing” from Elton John https://open.spotify.com/track/3U5JVgI2x4rDyHGObzJfNf?si=f9047821d23d42ac 
If These Piece had a Scent : It would be ”Black Pepper”
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